Burning...

My foot on bursting lava,
it burns,it melts to the bone.
Leaving no trace of my existence
eating me through the core.

Upon being born an innocent,
hanging between life and death
had to learn the ways of a demon
surviving on blood and flesh.

Through all these years I tried
to live as I please,
to earn through my sweat and blood
but no one was convinced.

In horror of losing my dignity
I lost my integrity.
Twisted and turned what I could not justify.
I bluffed, I cheated , I lied.

I don't respect what I have become.
In retrospect I can blame no one.
Cause I chose what I did, decided what to be,
for my decisions were wrong, so was my destiny.

Hope

To wait for a brighter day of sun
when there has been a moonless night.
To wait for the rainbow to colour
the land drowned by endless rain.

To gather the withered flowers
noticing the beauty still left .
To wish at the sinking coin
for love, wealth and happiness.

To let that butterfly fly away,
hoping for it to return someday.
To fly a kite holding its thread firmly
in the vast sky full of uncertainty.

To climb a many mountains
in search of greener pastures.
To sow the seeds of hope
waiting for them to grow.

To walk a million miles
in search of a civilisation
hoping to be saved from
the wrath of a merciless terrain.

To search for a water pond
in the scorching desert heat.
To search for a cooling shade
in rows of naked trees.

To wait for someone to be able
to acknowledge the good in you.
To cherish the life as given,
wishing for your dreams to come true...

-self

Lost

When I fall down,
I find myself.
Lost in the world's glory.
Losing grip of who I am.

My reflection in the mirror

changes its appearance as often

as I try to copy the better ones

attempting to win them over.

I laugh as everybody does

more for others than for myself.

A life without a purpose

as empty as a bullet shell.

Dismayed at a life wasted

and the things I never did

my heart aches in the moment

of knowing what not I've been.

SnOwFaLL

Have felt the rain tickle,
now all I want is some snow
Seen the water puddle with ripples,
need skis, not paper boats.

That mountain seems so distant,
its peak shining as pearls aglow.
The sun rays stop the instant
they see the sparkle show.

Even with the blazing sun it melts down
turning into water so pure.
Into the streams, rivers and ocean,
hurriedly changing its course.

There all she tries is to be one
with the vast expanse of water
before being lifted by the sun
to fall back down next winter.

Destiny's powers ( Written in 2004)

In the arms of the dark woods
with a pair of handmade boots
walking through trees and bushes alone
to a place unknown.

No matter what happens to me
I should not cry or weep
cause it can make me fall in curse,
made by a witch before a thousand years.

Destiny has once again knocked at the same door
I have to fight my luck once more
I cannot explain what's happening to me
having creepy nightmares, feeling hallucinated.

If someone is curious about being reincarnated
Then share my journey from a witch to mankind.


-SELF( year 2004, age 15)

Disgraced

Like a shapeless ship, she is
drifting away,
about to sink
taking last breaths.

No one to fix the nails
on its falling boards.
Rotting from deep within,
a hole in its core.

So many waters she rode
so many lands explored.
And yet this day, the men she bore
left her to disgrace, on her own.

Is she only worth her beauty, her youth
or is she only a means to you.
The selfish being sure knows how to throw
a useless thing of worth no more.

Sure her good days were timed
but so are you destiny tied
you gave her enough to suffer
one day your fate will be like her.

Metal

This empty box of metal
my heart is.
Throw stones , throw rocks,
won't break, won't stop.
Pumping blood up and down
till I fall to the ground.

Wish it were of glass
could see through your act
Like how you falsified
pure love to a string of lies.

Whom to blame, you or I;
You, who played his usual game
Or I, for turning blindly insane.
When everyone around could see you through
here I was putting my faith in you

Now its all gone
like the desert sand
the times I cried, the tears I shed
the pain, the hurt, the being alone.

Standing on clear ground
Steel solid, brave and sound,
I lay my foundations again,
no one can bring me down...

----SELF

THE SHADY TREE

Standing in the the sunlight, I burn.
On cold nights without the sun, I shiver.
What I want , I may know now,
But it might change anytime later.

What you make of the shady tree,
does it provide shelter or does it block the warmth.
Do you ever stand under it and fancy the outside heat
Or you stand outside and think how nice it would be under it.

The rain which lets the seeds grow,
the one which quenches the thirst,
might one day wash away the crops,
might one day flood the houses .

To  live in comfort or dismay,
has to be decided by every man,
but then there is the play of circumstance
that makes mistakes, that makes amends.

-SELF